“You cannot succeed until you try; you cannot fail until you stop trying.” ~ TSN
A quote I wrote (by modifying others that I’ve heard), that I need to live by.
This may be tl;dr, but I’ve decided I need to start writing about why I haven’t been writing. I know this is going to be personal, and I’m making it public, but I’ve had a very, very long battle with bipolar depression. It seems that every time I get going, and start doing what I need to, it’s almost as if I sabotage myself, and give up whenever it starts to require more than a passive attempt. I’ve tried medication, therapy, counseling… I’ve been doing it wrong. Looking and looking for something that will change how I feel so that I don’t have to fight to get out of bed, fight to shower, to take care of myself, to face each and every day, and of course, I was mistaken.
I cannot sabotage myself anymore, and I cannot allow myself to fail myself anymore. I have to face each day and be strong; I have to fight every moment of every breath I take, and once I realize that I’m winning, it will get easier.
So, I’ve decided to re-purpose this blog to talk about what I’m going through, and I ask that those of you who may have supported me before, please continue to do so. I want to beat this; I want to be proud of myself, I want to be strong again, and I want to get my life back in my own control.
Today is my Day 1. The beginning of my full-on, no longer passive, ACTIVE battle against my depression.
Hey Tamir. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I know that beating depression will be a struggle, and it will take time to overcome, but you can do it. You are an amazing person Tamir! Good for you for taking the stand against what you know isn’t the you that you know you are. (if that made any sense…) It takes courage and stamina to be strong and fight depression. I am here for you if there is anything I can do!