Archive for the ‘Emotion’ Category

There’s no Day 10; like I mentioned on twitter/facebook, I took the day off. My stress level is astronomical right now… my heart rate is at a constant 130 or so and I’ve felt like throwing up for nearly 3 days straight. I tried to go to the gym again, walked about 2 minutes on the treadmill then started to gag and had to stop. I don’t want to take any more days off from the gym but I’m not sure how to handle all this. I’m not the strong one when it comes to stress and fear, and I’m fighting very hard to keep my head on. It seems like everything is a survival fight these days, and I feel like I’m running out of strength. Thankfully, this is a 3-day weekend… getting some good R&R is probably what I need.

I’m sorry I’ve let everyone down here these past few days with no motivating posts or discussions. I really don’t want to dissappoint, and I know I’ve encouraged at least a few of you to get back into your workouts. I can’t really share what’s happened to me at work but, I’m in a lot of fear and frustration.

I had to skip today’s workout (had a doc appt), so, yesterday I decided to do both shoulders and back.

Good News: I can almost do a pull-up! I came real close.

There’s no bad news, but I think I’ve realized something. I think I’m scared of being in shape, because I don’t think I ever really was. And I don’t know what it will feel like, what it will be like… and I’m honestly very scared. Now that I can see my body changing (it’s incredibly noticeable already!) I’m having to face this fact. I think that’s why I skip cardio sometimes, or just rest when I should be doing something. When my PT is around it’s easier to do what he wants me to do, and it’s easy to push myself, do more weight, etc (I’m up to 25 lbs on a lot of dumbell exercises, and over 100 on bench/etc) but it’s hard to do it for myself.

I think I’m honestly, just scared because it’s going to be a feeling I’ve never had, for 30 years. Damn you, old brain!

Any advice?

After working out.

I find that if I have frustrations, anger or I just feel like crap, when I force myself to go to the gym, especially with my neighbor there, I always leave feeling fantastic. Sure, it has a good tendency to hurt, burn, tighten and get sore while I exercise, but when I finish, I feel great.

I finished today feeling SO much better than when I walked in… came home and had that ON Whey stuff that was recommended within 30 minutes after my workout (It’s the Gold Standard, I got a variety pack; don’t ask me to recommend the best protein drinks because I really have no clue) and am now enjoying a nice quiet evening with the wife.

Seriously, why didn’t anyone tell me I’d feel this good after a workout? Okay, well, let me say that it takes a few weeks before it feels good after you work out. The first few weeks… if I could strangle anyone with a smile on their face I would have. I guess, living on the 3rd floor also adds a little bit more to the exercise.

I think each of my major muscle groups has grown at least an inch in just a month. Biceps, Triceps, Quadraceps, Deltoids, Calves, Hamstrings… I know I’m forgetting some but I don’t really remember what they are. Remember, I’m still an amateur!

I’ll be happy to take any encouragement anyone wants to send.. and I happily encourage anyone else who wants to say “You know what, I don’t want to be out of shape any more” to do it. It’s not gonna be fun at first, but it’s rewarding and you’ll love the changes your body has.

Oh, also, find a good person to help you work out; preferably someone who knows what they’re doing.

I’m sure many of you have heard by now about the wild adventure of a weekend I had with a bunch of friends.

Yeah, I still look like I was hit by a bus. Damage reports were pretty high, I’ve got some busted and cut up knuckles, both knees are badly bruised (one has a pretty deep cut about 2.5″ long) and internal bleeding marks on the bottoms of both feet, making walking a fun activity.

I don’t regret the trip in the slightest, however. Just a month ago, I would have been sitting in my inner tube sobbing, because I wouldn’t have the strength or energy to do anything about it. With Brodie’s help though, I was in enough of a decent shape from the gym that I was able to not only keep going, but help quite a bit. And the next morning I even had enough energy to hit breakfast on Sunday with Selena. And man, what a breakfast that was. I highly recommend Trudy’s Sunday Brunch to anyone who’s never gone.

Proof positive that a good workout routine, even for just 2 weeks, can make worlds of differences. I didn’t go to the gym yesterday; I’m still in massive pain and walking hurts, but I didn’t need to take a day off, and I’m almost missing the gym at this point.

I find myself wondering what to even write about, to be honest. What do people really want to know about me? 

It’s a bit of a more existential thought than my usual mindset, but it’s been a bit of an emotional few days… lots of good, some bad, but everything does work out, and as usual, I’m quite happy.

Hopefully, soon enough my body will accept the treatment at the gym, and I’ll be well on my way to fighting Apathy in the streets. Take heed, ne’er-do-wells!